Long before I became a blogger I strived to be the best version of my job roles I could be. Whether that was being the best office manager and managing my employees the best way I possibly could or being the outstanding wife making sure dinner was on the table every night. Something imaginary driving me to do it all, and do it perfectly or else.
Then I became a blogger. Look out! And those same (fictitious) pressures to be better and better followed suit. I was reading a blog post the other day from the lovely Not A Frumpy Mum and she talked about giving ourselves a break and it got me thinking – YES! We all need to give ourselves a break!
I am the first to admit I am hardest on myself. I am not sure where it started in life to strive to be like this imaginary person that doesn’t actually exist. The one only Pinterest pretends to be and laughs as we tweet yet another ‘Pinterest fail’. I have news for you all and myself included: SHE DOESN’T EXIST! She has never existed. She is a figment of our imagination created by one of us long ago that just went a little too far on the “Stepford wives” side of life. (if you haven’t seen the movie ignore the pun). In short of it, they were robots but we are not! We are humans! Humans have flaws!
While we sit and point fingers at Pinterest for making us feel like failures and pushing us to create these glossy magazine fake lives, we really do still secretly love you Pinterest. You motivate us and help our creative juices flow. But we also can let it get to us. We let it push us to that overwhelming state, time and time again where we feel the pressures of it too. It’s a love/hate relationship. No one is Pinterest perfect!
I am obsessed with Instagram too, but it is no better with it’s beautiful styled photos and flashy and awe striking vignettes. It both motivates me and overwhelms me at the same time. I love that it gets my creativity going but sometimes it almost makes me feel like I am not quite good enough. I know I am not alone either. Again, all figments of our imagination. We are all creators in our own way and that’s the beauty of it as long as we don’t let it put pressure on us to be better or different. We are already us so let’s stay us and share us! Going back to what Jo said above, give ourselves a break. We get pressures from all parts of our lives, work, school run, friends, social media, blogging, vlogging, neighbors, family, media, magazines. The list is endless. But what are we all striving for… a perfect person doesn’t exist so how do we set the bar high but not unrealistically too high for ourselves?
Things can appear perfect from the outside, but everyone has their ups and downs, their struggles, their flaws, their strengths and their weaknesses. I have seen it more and more since I started blogging, people writing about not being good enough, or comparing themselves to that fictitious person that I would love to meet someday! I am the guiltiest one of them all but as I get older and more experienced in life I realize I set the bar too high sometimes. It’s ok not to be good at everything, it’s ok to even fail as long as you pick yourself back up and try again. Life is about learning as we go along and so I am learning that SHE DOESN’T EXIST nor HE if I am being politically correct. Dads feel pressures too, as parents we all do.
Ignore that image you may have in your head about this fake perfect person, he or she, doing the washing, the cooking, the cleaning, grocery buying, taking care of the kids, working/blogging, showering and looking fashionable, quality time with partners, sex, quality time with the kids, family adventures and hobbies beyond reach isn’t real. No one can do all these things with a smile on their face, saying it’s easy, you love it, and never have a bad day. It’s unattainable and impossible. You may think others are like that or you may be one to say you are like this… but I bet you still have a normal bad day like the rest of us. The more of us that admit it, the more the rest of us will stop striving for the unattainable!
You all are unique and valuable in your own way. Let’s give ourselves a break and stop striving to be like the mythical person in our dreams. Super woman is not real!
I know I write fluffy and bubbly in most of my posts because that’s just me but I promise you behind that nice outfit might be hair not wash it days, or food spilled down my leg and crusted. The kids might look like they are all dressed up having a grand old time together but behind the camera I am most likely wear non-matching pjs with no makeup on. My living room might look clean in the background but it’s only because all the toys are probably left in the other room from my children dragging them into their wigwam. We have bad days, messy days, sick days, things haven’t gone right days and we also have happy days, exciting days, adventurous days too. We are normal here at Let’s Talk Mommy household, I promise you!
Linking up #PoCoLo