This month is so different for us on so many levels. We have had a lot of changes with my two toddlers starting school and nursery. This means they have been separated more than ever before. I wasn’t sure how they would cope apart after being inseparable for the past two years now.
B has done amazing going to big kid school and we are so very proud of him. He is very uniform proud and ready each morning to start his school day all over again and again. I love it. MM is devastated she doesn’t have a uniform to match her brother’s. We have always been fare and bought them all the same things and I think it was new for her to try to understand why he got something new and she didn’t. I am not going to lie it was an emotional week for me too watching my eldest start school and I am not sure if MM is reading into my own emotions or if it’s truly her own emotions getting the best of her. She does not like her brother in school all day at all.
It starts in the mornings as soon as she sees him putting on his uniform and not his normal clothes. She asks him over and over, “brother go to school?” not wanting the answer and then cries, “me go too”. She just wants to be with him and see what he is up to. Then we make it to the school gates, just, before she starts crying all over again. I feel so bad for her. I don’t actually know who I am more emotional over B starting school and not being around during the week or MM losing her playmate, partner in crime and best friend. She truly acts like she lost her arm. I can’t count the endless questions I have of when we are picking her brother up during the day. It’s almost exhausting. She seems lonely. We have tried to fill our days with fun adventures to keep her busy and enjoying time one on one with Mommy. Sadly, I do have to work and her and B used to play lovely in the mornings together so I could work and now she is having to learn to independent play which is good for her but makes me feel the worse guilt I have ever felt.
MM started nursery two days a week too so that I could get most of my work done in this time and have more quality time to spend together. She isn’t liking that much either. There are so many changes going on for us, I think she is having a hard time understanding them. I have never felt mom-guilt like it in my life. I know she will be fine and yes, she will get used to it. It’s just takes time finding our new routine and settling in it, together.
I was worried that their separation would change their sibling bond they have. I didn’t want their closeness to change after not being with each other all day, every day. That would be my biggest fear is that they didn’t stay connected like their were before school starts. I couldn’t have been more wrong. From the moment B started school he has been there running for his sister arms open to hug her every day after school. They both sit in the back of the car telling each other about their days. What B learned in school and MM about her music, swimming and gymnastic classes. They are just as close and now just have way more things to talk about. They continue to play and entertain each other every day after school. I think maybe separation does do them good at this age. MM is starting to have to make decisions on her own instead of copying what her brother wants, does, or likes. They are becoming their own individual person and coming together to share it. It’s a lovely thing to watch how this new stage in our lives affects each of us differently. They still have so much fun and love to share, together.
This month, they both learned how to ride their bikes solo at the same time. While they have an age gap lately it seems there isn’t much of one there. MM is learning to keep up with her brother and do the big kid things he is starting to do. I wonder if that’s a girl thing or a second child thing or both? We were blown away MM racing B on her cousin’s bike the other day and actually beating him. Shhh, don’t tell him until he is older his younger sister is faster than him. B really cheered her on and encouraged her to do what he was doing which I think is the only reason she even got on the bike in the first place. We were proud of them both and impressed with their team efforts to help each other learn. It’s becoming a new routine for us getting home from school, having a snack and running outside and bike racing on our street if the weather permits us, until dinner time. It’s been an emotional month for all of us and of course what comes with starting school and nursery are colds. We are full of them now but carrying it on with a smile. New routines are coming into place and the kids are finding their new separate time apart different but braving it. I am so relieved that they remain the best friends and hope it long continues.
Linking up to DearBeautiful for #Siblings