Breastfeeding: Hitting a Brick Wall

Last updated on November 16th, 2023 at 03:56 pm

If you would have told me three years ago that I would be such a die hard breasfeeder, I would have laughed in your face. Truth is, I never thought I would breastfeed at all. Something just clicked when I got pregnant with Buba, and after I started, I was hooked. It’s an amazing way to bond with your baby, having these quiet moments with them nestled in your bosom. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I was shocked I enjoyed it so much and it was convenient so I continued until Buba moved onto cow’s milk at one year old. I plan on doing the same with Missy Moo but it would seem she has other plans on her mind. I am having one of those hard feeding days today! This is very open on the breastfeeding topic so for those that don’t want to read the gory details. Stop reading here!

I will be posting a lot on breastfeeding, my experiences, my happy moments with each of my babies, what has worked and not worked for me. Especially about those fabulous “hooter hiders” that make public feeding so easy.  However, today, I am posting on my struggles. Having fed my son, Buba, for a year you wouldn’t think I would be having so much trouble feeding my daughter Missy Moo, especially at 5 months.

From day one, she has never wanted to open her mouth wide enough, she bites, she pulls, she arches her back, all making it very difficult and most importantly painful for me to feed her. I suffered engorgement horribly when my milk came in on day three. It hasn’t been a smooth experience since then.  Thank god for white cabbage leaves. Don’t know why they work but they are magical, as well as Lanolin cream, to which I would be in more tears without it. I have had her checked for tongue tie, thrush, reflux. You name it! I have had every professional GP, midwife and breastfeeding support group at my house trying to help me keep going. People keep asking me, why don’t you stop? I hate that question.

I can’t stop. I feel very strongly about feeding both my children now, not that there is anything wrong with formula or bottle feeding. Trust me, if she wasn’t gaining the right amount of weight or was upset by breastfeeding her, I would do what was best for her. There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding.

For me, I want to have that same sense of, we are one, with my daughter that I had with my son. I don’t care how much pain, bleeding, cracking I have to put up with. I will keep on trying until it’s physically impossible. I keep asking myself, “I did it the first time, why can’t I do it again?”

I have been cursed with mastitis, twice. I was on vacation in Ireland the first time and never been sicker. The only option was to feed through it as I was told that is the most efficient way to clear it. It was the most painful experience ever. Yes, worse than giving birth. I get blocked milk ducts all the time. If my toddler runs and jumps on me, they hurt for days and become so full and hard I can hardly feed Missy Moo. I have tried various positions given to me by Little Angels, I have tried Gaviscon in case it was reflux, shields are not helping or I just can’t figure the damn things out.

I am up for any and all suggestions if any one has any. I love my time breastfeeding my daughter and I would be devastated for it to end so soon but with days like today, I am struggling.

5 thoughts on “Breastfeeding: Hitting a Brick Wall”

  1. That sounds so tough, i really feel for you. I have a friend who has a nightmare feeder with her second. It was the other way round for me and i had a much easier time with my second, maybe it just depends on the baby!
    I would say though, that the most important thing is that you are both happy x

    • Agreed. Thanks Hun. Think I would stop if it was all the time but seems to only be when I feed her on my right side. I am a glutton for punishment. Hahaha thanks for the support. Yes definitely think each baby is so different. My son wouldn’t take bottle but my daughter doesn’t bother her.

  2. i struggled a lot in the beginning BFing my twins, I understand the desire to keep it up, and if she is gaining and you are willing to keep trying then go for it! so some things you have probably tried, but i’ll throw them out there… breast feeding in the bath tub, massage first to get it flowing, pump one side while you nurse on the other, nursing while standing (swaying or slowly dancing this worked well for me), dropping dairy from your diet, and what got me through the hardest times, gold stars, my husband literally bough gold stars and would give me one every time i tried or struggled, it really helped me feel appreciated. hang in there mama

    • Thank u for ur lovely comments. It’s a tough road but doing my best. Definitely try some of ur suggestions. Anything to help. Standing and rocking is a known favorite. It’s weird cause she only causes problems on my right side. Hoping the next 7 months gets easier as she eats more food and has less feeds.


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