Today is a big day for the LTM household, B had his very first day of school. I didn’t know how he would deal with it once he got up to those big gates and had to cross the big courtyard to his classroom alone. I didn’t know how I was going to respond watching my first born walk in to someone else’s control and care. I also didn’t know how MM would respond not having her brother around to play, during the day anymore.
As B got dressed in his uniform today, I could feel the lump in my throat forming. He looked so much bigger than he did in his jeans. I kept thinking he is way too young to start school as we start so much later in the USA. But he looked handsome and so ready to go to school with a smile beaming across his face.
I asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up and he said “Lighting McQueen and a Farmer” which really tickled me. MM kept asking me where her uniform was and didn’t really understand why she wasn’t going to school with B too. I watch him put all his belonging into his backpack like a big kid and put it on his back. There is something so grown up about throwing a backpack on your back. I don’t know quite what it is but it got me, teary. The tears came I really couldn’t help it. They were happy tears and sad tears all mixed together. It’s such a big milestone for us all. A time where things have changed forever to school runs and after school activities now.
B is a sensitive loving soul and I wasn’t sure if he was nervous for his first day of school but if he was he didn’t show it at all. We got to the gates of the school and he spotted his teacher whom he has only met once, two months ago before we left for America and without even a goodbye hug he ran to his classroom and never looked back. It had all the parents laughing how fast he ran across that courtyard and I tried to smile through it that he didn’t need me anymore but there was no ceremoniously long hug to linger on to. He was just gone. I walked away proud of my independent soldier but selfishly wishing he had given me a little hint of resistance.
I know he will always need me in a way everyone needs their mother. I think it’s more of letting him grow and learn from someone else that’s so emotional. As parents we are no longer the ones providing for them on a daily basis and their teacher becomes their primary care giver during the week. It’s also letting them grow up and become independent that’s hard as we know just how fast time really goes. It would be nice if we could just freeze various moments throughout their life that we could rewind back to and replay when we want to relive that moment.
B has changed a lot in the last few months and I know he is going to absolutely love school. He loves learning new things so I think it will give him the stimulation that he needs and earns for. As my first born I can’t believe it’s four years on and here we are on the first day of school. A day that will pave the way for his future and years of education to come. I am now a school mom. It feels weird just saying that. I am so glad he was so excited to start school and that it was a positive milestone for him as much as it was for us. I am so so very proud of him.
MM didn’t like saying goodbye to her brother at the gates and kept calling for him to come back and get in the car with us. When we pulled away from the gates she started screaming for him as if we were abandoning him somewhere and never coming back for him. It took a while to calm her down. When we came to pick him up from school she dashed out in front of everyone and he spotted her and they did that slow motion sprint to each other with their arms stretch out and embraced in a huge hug. A hug that will stay with me forever. A hug that made me cough up that the lump in my throat I was holding back and made the tears pour down my cheeks. A hug that had the crowd of parents around us saying “AWWWW” out loud. It was a moment I won’t forget. I think I am more emotional and nervous how this is all effecting her. She has never known anything different than having her big brother at home with her to play with, explore and learn from. Now, he isn’t there. It will be a transition for us all and a time for new routines to form. I was so proud of him for being brave and running into the class in a place he didn’t know and embracing his new teacher so happily. He spent all evening excited that he has to do it all again tomorrow. I am so blessed and grateful of how much he loves his sister and when it’s his special day, he is there hugging her telling her, quote: “it’s ok because I am just a big boy in big boy school now and I did miss you while you were gone but now we are home together again MM so see it’s ok,” in one long breathe. B reassuring her made it even a more heart warming moment picking him up from school today. He always puts everyone else first and I love that about him, selfless.
I couldn’t have asked for a better first day of school for my first born. I have a good feeling he is going to love school and it’s going to be a new adventure for MM and I getting a new routine together just the two of us, during the week. One I look forward to and our one on one time together.
Today was also the anniversary of me moving to England eight years ago. It was lovely to think I was on a plane eight years ago today moving across the world to start a new life and here stood my son starting his new life of his first day of English school, eight years later to the day. Life is a beautiful thing.