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Dealing with the breakdown of a relationship is never easy. Splitting up with a partner is often considered one of life’s most stressful events. Finding yourself in this situation represents a difficult time in anyone’s life. Any relationship breakdown is difficult, whether you are getting divorced or separating from a long-term partner. However, dealing with a breakup can be even more challenging when you have children. Trying to keep up with your daily tasks while supporting your children is more complicated than ever during a breakup.
You will likely be experiencing a wide range of emotions during this difficult time. Anger, disappointment, frustration, and upset are all totally normal ways to feel. In fact, you may experience multiple emotions all at once. Finding a way through a breakup can feel overwhelming, with so many different emotions. Thinking about the days, weeks, and months to come is hard when you split up with a long-term partner. For this reason, taking things one day at a time is essential. Doing all that you can to focus on each day, step-by-step, can help relieve some of the pressure you may be feeling. While this is not an easy experience, it will gradually become less painful. If you are wondering where to even begin with navigating your way through a relationship breakdown, the following tips should help:
Build Your Support System
A relationship breakdown is a time of considerable change. You may find that every aspect of your life is different once your breakup has been finalised. From living in another home to relocating to a new area, many aspects of life can change following a breakup. Any major life change can be unsettling, especially if accompanied by strong emotions. So, building up a robust support system is essential to help you through these significant changes. Gathering your family and friends around you is vital at this time. But, you may feel uncertain about approaching your loved ones for support.
Many people feel uncomfortable about reaching out for help. When you approach others for emotional or practical help, it can make you feel vulnerable. However, asking for support from others can be essential during a breakup. No one should go through such a challenging time alone, so seeking support from people you can trust is crucial. Having people, you can ring for a chat when everything is getting you down can give you a boost. Likewise, knowing that you can meet up with a friend for coffee and to vent can be a lifeline on a bad day. You will likely find that people are keen to help and want to support you but are unsure how to do this. Recognising who you can depend on and reaching out to them is invaluable for your wellbeing during this time.
With emotions running high, it can be hard to think practically about your breakup. The breakdown of a relationship is never a black-and-white process. There may not be a definite end point to your relationship, and this can make it hard for you to navigate. You may also feel weighed down by a wide array of different emotions. However, starting to think about the practicalities of the situation can be beneficial. Understanding the practical aspects of the breakup and how these will impact you and your current way of living is vital. Your circumstances will likely change after the breakdown of the relationship. It is advisable to consider the practicalities to minimise the negative impact of the breakup on your way of life. Thinking about where you want to live following the breakup and whether you plan to stay in the same area is a helpful place to start. You may also need to consider how relocation will work for your children, their education, and clubs/activities.
Thinking about any practical support that you may need is also essential right now. Will you need help with the logistics of getting the kids to school and back each day? Perhaps you will need extra childcare or to borrow a car. Making arrangements and finding people to help you with these practical aspects of your breakup will make life less stressful and disruptive when your plans are finalised. There are likely many people that will be happy to assist you with the practicalities while you find your feet. However, it is best to start pre-empting these plans sooner rather than later.
Considering the practicalities of a breakup even before it has become official can help you to review your options in advance. While splitting up with a partner is often unpleasant, knowing that the practical aspects are taken care of can be a relief. Having one less thing to think about can help relieve the strain and take the pressure off you.
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Seek Legal Advice
There is no substitute for professional legal advice during a breakup, so obtaining this is essential. Choosing a trusted lawyer to guide you through the legal aspects of your separation is invaluable. But, before you start obtaining legal advice, you must select the best family lawyers for the job. You need a lawyer you can depend on to provide honest and reliable advice. A legal separation often means personal matters, such as child custody and home ownership, may change. With so much at stake, you need the best possible legal team on your side and fighting for you. So, choosing your legal team carefully and ensuring they specialise in family law is vital.
Your solicitors will be able to advise you on everything from applying for a divorce to dividing up your assets after a legal separation. Your lawyers will also be able to help you work through the process of making child custody arrangements. Lawyers specialising in family law will also be able to help ensure that you get adequate child support for your kids.
When selecting your family lawyer, it is helpful to begin by looking for law firms that offer a free initial consultation. During this consultation, you will be able to get a clearer idea of whether they are a good fit for you. Choosing a highly-experienced, compassionate family lawyer can greatly help and make the legal process less daunting for you. In addition, it is also helpful to look for genuine testimonials from previous clients. Determining the level of service and the outcome that others have experienced when using the law firm is really helpful.
Work on Your Long Term Recovery
Recovering from splitting up with a long-term partner is not a straightforward process. Recovering emotionally and getting back on your feet is not something that happens overnight. With this in mind, investing in your long-term recovery from the breakup is essential.
As well as seeking out support from friends and family, it can be beneficial to get professional help. Discussing your feelings with your loved ones can be helpful. However, your friends and family are likely to have biased opinions about the breakup, which is only sometimes helpful for you to hear. Instead, you may benefit from getting professional support from a counsellor. Getting support from a trained therapist can help you to process the many emotions that you have been feeling throughout the breakup. Working through these feelings with a therapist who is impartial and independent of your situation can be extremely advantageous. While discussing your feelings and reliving the separation can be painful at times, it is also an excellent way to obtain some closure.
Finding a therapist in your area and starting a course of sessions can feel like a big step. However, once you get started, you should start to find your therapy sessions beneficial. You may find that you only need to attend a short course of sessions over a few months. If you find it helps, you may choose to continue with therapy in the long term as you start your new life.
The process of attending therapy sessions can provide you with the catalyst you need to make changes in your life. Talking things through and letting go of the past can help you to focus your attention on the future as you start to move forward. Achieving this change in your mindset and moving on can be challenging. But therapy can equip you with the tools needed to make positive changes happen and move on from the past, feeling stronger than ever.
There is so much to think about when going through a relationship breakdown. It is little wonder that the experience is considered to be highly stressful and overwhelming. Taking care of the practical aspects of your breakup by seeking legal advice is essential, but protecting your wellbeing is also vital. Being as gentle as you can with yourself and not forcing yourself to feel a certain way is critical. Allowing yourself the time you need to feel better one day at a time is essential. Doing this will enable you to start to feel better gradually without putting added pressure on yourself.