I turned 30! The day went past with great celebrations with my friends and family. It was a calm and relaxing day and I wouldn’t have had it any other way but after it came and went I didn’t feel any different. Growing up I always thought there would be this whole new adult feeling that would wash over me when I turned thirty. It didn’t but boy did everything else change…
I no longer could eat what I wanted without becoming it. I no longer could skip exercise and stay fit. I noticed after two babies and turning thirty things were not as they once were and I didn’t like it. I refuse to sit and blame having two babies and turning thirty even though they are the contributing factors, there are so many more factors to include. I boiled it all down to my choices.
I have now vowed to myself I will make better choices. My laziness in my diet has become ridiculous. I suffer from pure gluttony which isn’t pretty on a good day and is plain embarrassing on a bad one. It’s only me making better choices around bad days that keep me from being 400 pounds. But just because I am a small person doesn’t mean I am a healthy one. Things are starting to prove just how unhealthy I really am.
I need to make better food choices. I will be honest I feed my family vegetables twice a day, they get all their food groups, eat super healthy, and I am very strict on sugary things. My son has probably had “a” bite of chocolate three times in his three years of living. Missy Moo not even yet at 1 yr old. But why don’t I follow these same rules for myself. I will admit to feeding them steamed vegetables, roasted chicken and mash potatoes with fresh fruit for dessert while I sneakily eat pizza in the kitchen and ice cream when they go to bed. Turning 30 and my bad food choices has brought on something I never thought I would have to tackle, acne! Yup, I have pure acne all over my face at 30! I have never had but a zit at a time on this face of mine. It’s soul destroying to see all my holiday photos full of gross skin! It doesn’t make me feel pretty either having this horrible greasy skin. I need to cut out the junk not just for my skin but for my overall healthiness. You are what you eat, right?
I need to make better exercise choices. Or rather I just need to exercise. I can’t go my whole life not exercising as much as I would love to. It’s getting to the point things are going cottage cheesy and not as tight at it once was. The bingo wings are starting to appear and I do not want to be flapping them at my age all because I don’t want to get off the couch. It’s good for my organs to exercise and supposedly will make me not feel as frumpy. I know once I start working out I feel awesome it’s just these days after a long day of chasing two tots I don’t have the energy. There I go again make excuses, and all I need to do is make a better choice of getting up and just doing it and stop complaining about it. Even though it’s easier to just complain about it. lol
I need to make better life choices. I get myself into predicaments and then wonder how did I get into such a stressful situation when I could have just steered clear of it and been better off. I used to be a HUGE people pleaser. When I moved abroad I tried my best to make new friends as much as I worked at keep all my friendship back home live and fresh. I have had many friends turn to drink! (and not just for that needed bad day kind of drink). The kind of drink they have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner no matter what day it is. I tried to stay their close friends, I tried to help them but by doing so I got so mixed up into their drama and stress it over took me. I became depressed about it. I have learned so much since having kids. This will sound harsh but having toxic people in my life isn’t worth the pain it causes me or my family. We only live once and while I cherish the many memories I had with those friends, I am on a happier path with my kids and husband and want to stay positive. It was a hard thing to stop being their friend but in the long wrong it was the best decision. And I honestly can say I feel like a ton of bricks have lifted off me. I feel more happy, more positive, and can focus more on my kids, husband and other family and friends that are positive and happy too.
I need to make better self choices. I need to have more positive things to say about myself, believe in myself, and get rid of my own toxic thoughts. I have never been good at this. I always know I can do something I put my mind to but then I always second guess myself; is it good enough?
I need to make better hygiene choices. I need to take care of my skin now. Please don’t all faint. I have never used cleansers, make removers before bed, lotions, or even spf on my face. I go to sleep NUMEROUS nights in a row with my makeup on. Yes, I know! It’s disgusting but true. I just wash it off before I apply a new makeup face! (although I am guilty of layering it on a rushed morning too). Shhh don’t judge. I have taken showers and skipped washing my horse’s mane, my body is clean and my hair can be thrown up. I say I am a mother this is ok but letting my appearance go, hmmm, isn’t good. At 30 I do need to start taking care of my skin, my appearance, my teeth, my everything! Any advice on good morning/night facial routine all ears! Comment below.
I need to make better pressure choices. I put so much negative pressure that is unneeded on myself trying to strive to be this thing that doesn’t exist. I am far from perfect but aren’t we all? I don’t have to be a perfect wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, cooker, crafter, writer, baker, blogger, etc so why do I stay up all night trying to push myself further and further when I should be happy and grateful for what I already am. Learning to love me as I am, will be the hardest one of them all.
Overall, I have a lot of things to make better choices about. So I daily remind myself when I am about to have gluttony, or put negative pressure on myself, or sit on that couch 14 days in a row, or try to force a friendship with someone that isn’t trying, or putting my self down, or go to sleep again with my makeup on, to “MAKE BETTER CHOICES JENNY!”
I can vow so far it really has helped me having this internal conversation with myself. Please don’t lock me up. lol Talking to myself is an everyday occurrence. I am 30 now and it’s time I make better choices all around!
Linking up to #PoCoLo