It was surreal this Mother’s Day, snuggling up to my kids, one in each arm and contemplating that a third child will be in my arms soon. That my heart will open up for another child to be apart of our lives and apart of my heart. I know that I will love him just as much as I do these two sat right beside me. My arms will stretch out to embrace three children soon.
We didn’t have plans for UK Mother’s Day this year. At 30+weeks pregnant, I wanted a chilled out one at home. I wanted a day just to take it easy and focus on my two kids. I think 100% attention on them is so important at this stage before baby comes too. I want them to feel needed, wanted, loved, and important. With everyone around us, hooting and hollering after baby this and baby that and bump too, I am aware they might feel pushed aside or left out.
We started the day with homemade eggless pancakes. My kids absolutely love them. It’s my favorite breakfast so it was a treat for me even if I had to make them. Granny had stayed over so we enjoyed breakfast with Granny too. Then it was time for gymnastics class, something we do every Sunday. The weather was so nice (12 Degrees!!!) we decided we would spend it in our newish garden that we renovated last summer. We have been itching to get out in it all winter. It’s like having an outdoor extension to our house. We are lucky to be protected on all side from wind so it’s always slightly warmer in our back garden then it is out front. With that the kids thought it was holiday, stripping off their coats and even putting shorts on to enjoy it fully.
I sat on our deck sofa feeling like the luckiest momma in the world. One because I have two kids that I have always longed for and a third I have dreamt of for years on the way. But just listening to them laughing and running around, they are happy. They fill me with joy and purpose and it’s the best feeling in the world. I hope I am a good mom to them.
I know sometimes I am checked out with work, and other crazy lives problems on my mind. I know I am not always one hundred percent present. I am working on it. Motherhood is always a work in progress. I feel that mom guilt so often when I have too much going on to stop and just play with them. So I did. Mother’s Day I chased them around the garden, I snuggled them on the sofa watching a movie, I colored with them in their coloring books and let them put stickers all over my face for fun. I was silly. Most importantly, I was present.
Even though it was the most ordinary day. We didn’t do anything fancy. We didn’t need to. I needed to just be with them. Remind myself that I need to put things aside more to be present. They are only little for a little while longer and soon it will be three of them demanding my attention. Soon I will need to care for and be there for three little people’s needs and wants as much as run my business, home, and have a marriage too.
My kids are always the first to remind me what’s important in life and give me that reality check that I need. I try to listen to them. I was once given advice from a lady who had six kids. She was super close to each one and they were all grown up and married with kids of their own. She said the best advice to give you is stop and listen to your children. Truly listen to their stories, to their worries, to their hopes and fears. I have been thinking a lot about that this week.
So there is was, my last Mother’s Day with two kids. Next year, it will be a whole different dynamic and a different celebration of my first Mother’s Day of three. I look forward to it. Not for the presents or the special attention and pampering if I get it but looking forward to celebrating being a mother of three!